Quass.com Blog

Calling all Quasses (who have not yet sworn eternal hatred against me, that is...) 'big up' this site, ya numpkins. I mean, jeepers! Would it kill ya to link to this page?! I mean, honestly, now!
--genetically yours,
Brian Quass, what wrote these here admittedly hilarious (and yes, often strangely perceptive from a socio-cultural point of view) articles
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Harper Valley PTA vs Mrs. Johnson

Ask Not for Whom the Banana Peels: It Peels for Thee

All Aboard the Platonic Express!

Let's Play Jeoparody!

Little Antelope Diary


2012 1/2

Hunter Thompson, eat your heart out!

The Lizards' Lair

The Power of Halfwits

We Regret to Inform You...


The All-Wacky School of Anger Management

Why We Should Open HOV Lanes to Bicycles

Me Version 10.1.0

Ozymandias Dines at Hardees

Notes from Even FURTHER Underground


Loonies in the Boonies

Harnessing Hurricanes

Shut Up Island

Fall of the Summer Cottage of Usher

The Big Slip-Up


Remedial Pheromones 101

Scaring the Hammerheads

Our Blue Friend

Cy Twombly Can Kiss My Canvas!

LOL for LHC


Love Me, Love My God

You Better Run!

I Take Thee, Babs

The Cats of the Louvre

Happy Halloween, Son!


Rap 101 with Professor Hieronymous P. Finch

The Patience of Webmaster Job

The Cloverfield Coward

Howard Stern versus Garrison Keillor

The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6


The Shadow over Innsmouth

Deconstructing the Lyrics to Montego Bay

Curse of the Cajun Crawfish

The Day the Brains Stood Still

The Eyes Have It


The Sacred Book of Avatar: Pandoran Holy Text

Death to America by James Cameron

District 8

Meditations on a Gammy Leg

Color Me Human


Ouch!

Chincoteague Hot Shots

Green Entertainment Television

The Bonehead Ultimatum

Counseling for Deluded Webmasters


Happy New Year from Emperor Augustus

I'm a Windows User: Kick Me

Sermon on the Mound

June is Busted: Arresting Facts About the Month of June

Old MacDonald Had a P----


James Woods 1, Vampires 0

The Comedy of Romeo and Juliet

Psycho Comic

Loosing the Fateful Lightning

French for Kids: Class 13


Where is the Trophy?

My Polar Valentine

Food for Thought

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry Webmaster

The Telltale Nose


Forgiveness for Dummies

Standup for Saturn's Hexagon

Shout!

Cat-Calls for a Counter-Revolutionary

Time Travel 101: The Basics


Drag Me to New Jersey

It Came From Outside the Legal System

My Wayward Watermelon

The Disturbing Truth about Thanksgiving Bees in Harrisonburg, Virginia

Debunking Friday the 13th


Heading for the Dysentery Archipelago

Yoga Made Far Too Easy

Recipe for Disaster

Dental D-Day

Flurry of Excitement over Snowy Forecast


Heaven Must be Missing a Devil

Snowbound with John Greenleaf Whittier

Stinging Rebuke for Australian Jellyfish

Revenge of the Hardwoods

Super Bowl 2004 comedy routine


Pride as a Function of Mathematical Ability

Airline Pilots: Choose Your Weapons!

Run on Water

Pork Chop Hunting at Trader Joe's

Gloria in Excessive Claptrap


Owl Omens

All I Am Saying is Give Love a Chance

Humility

Apocalyptic Spam

Sensitivity Training


It Came from Outer Space

French Proverbs Page

Take My Father -- Please!

The 12 Gigs of Christmas

Masque of the Orange Death


Got Any Tuna

Who Do You Think You Were, Anyway?

Cold Feet

Don We Now Our Festive Apparel or whatever

My Name is Santa Claus: I Carry a Sack


Happy Birthday, Socrates!

The Green, Green Ghosts of Home

Zee Last Restaurant Standing

Deconstructing the Rapper

Dawn of the Embarrassed Dead


Duplicity, Take Two

Barely Normal Activity

Drill Here, Drill Now!

Little Webmaster Blue Has Blown his Top

When the Bell Rings, Come Out Writing


Time Travel 101

Putting on the Dog

Odd or Even?

This Perhaps Somewhat Unnecessarily Large Old House

Piglet's Big Movie


The Grapes of Wraith

Notice of Scam

The Q Word

Is There Love on Mars?

Most Haunted Britain for Dummies


Top Ten News Stories

Boot Camp for Rappers

House of Usher II

Steve Harvey and Me

Bricks and Mortar Syndrome


Chariots of Belated Fire

Time Travel with Class

Judge Joe White

Copyrighted Marxist

A City of Car Rental Agencies


That Seventies Class

The Code Orange Blues

Successful Transplant, My Eye!

Christmas? Bah, program bug!

I Just Cut My Toenails!


Fast Times at Jurassic High

Sins of the Webmaster

Seating Roland Burris

Death in Venice Beach

Fork River Anthology


Who Wants to Be an Intelligent Life Form?

The Bear Whisperer

Three Cheers for Ebenezer Scrooge

My Last Doggy

The Moral Tortures of the Game of Golf


Trashing Wall-E

Cap This!

Make No Mis-teeq About It

Jellyfish Manor

Turbulent Tacos at 20,000 Feet


Paranoia: They're Out to Get Me

Antiques Roadshow in the year 2709

Knowing Nicolas Cage (I expected a better movie)

Spam I Am: Episode 8

The $2,000 Box


Frosty, the Environmentally Conscious Snowman

Immortality: The Home Version

Death by VHS Naomi Watts in The Ring

Hips Don't Lie!

Top Ten News Stories


Yankee Doodle Returns to Albert Hall for One Night Only

One Socratic Cheeseburger, hold the rhetoric

Stand up for Crumhorns

Adopt This!

Death of a Webmaster


Jeremy Clarkson's 10 Stupidest Comments About America

I Think, Therefore I Stereotype

funNy pHotOs

Hamlet for Blithering Idiots: aka Omelette: King of Denmark

Falling Water Falling Down


Living with the Muck Tribe

I Ain't Gonna Study Wall No More