Daily Diary of Brian Quass

I think I’m going to write a spoof of Poe’s “Premature Burial” based on the idea that Google continues to bury me alive as an online author. (Help, I’m under here on page 32 of your search results!)

Nearly invisible web author Brian Quass here, the Wile E. Coyote of Irrational Online Stick-to-it-tiveness, presenting personal scheme number 28098-b for getting his eclectic article-rich website (Quass.com) noticed by Google: to wit, this new daily blog of mine, sponsored by the Acme Blog Company — er, I mean by Wordpress.

Ah! Okay, so the last several thousand site publicity schemes of this kind (SEO optimization, site redesign, pay-per-click, Adsense…) didn’t work for me — I still feel good about this one, folks! My band of loyal (if somewhat elusive) readers will be on me like Spanish moss when they see that I’m now maintaining a blog like everybody else! (What, were mere blogs too good for me in the past? Is that what it was? Ha! Mr. Hoity-Toity is it, then? Who died and made ME William Faulkner!)

But before I tell you what this new daily blog of mine will contain, I’d better bring the uninitiated into the fold concerning Quass.com itself, the Web site that I’m trying, at least indirectly, to promote here with this new effort of mine. You see, Quass.com is… It’s, um…

Well, here, just see for yourself. It’s a bunch of articles that I’ve cobbled together as a nearly invisible web author.

Let’s give the newcomers a few minutes to browse around all those probably interesting articles that I’ve published on that probably fantastic Web site of mine, and then I’ll be right back at ya with the conclusion of my introduction to my new blog. That’s it: Talk amongst yourselves (or, if you’re all alone — God bless you — talk to yourself…)

Dum-dee-dum… Dee-dee-dum…

There. Now that everybody has had a chance to visit the Quass.com site that I’m promoting with this blog, let me tell you how this blog itself is going to work. Basically, I will…

Ahem. Well, it’s a blog, right? That means I’m going to publish whatever I want, whenever I want to!

That said, however, the blog in question will be updated daily and will contain heads-up about my latest articles at quass.com. Isn’t that nice of me?

I may even eventually accept comments from you lot — once I’m confident that the lion’s share of you haven’t shown up here with a the sole purpose of breaking my spirit. (Hey, listen, I’ve been hurt before.)

I’m glad that the no-doubt emotionally sensitive Bard wasn’t alive during the Internet age. I can see the comments section now to one of his plays (where more than half the feedback would no doubt be submitted anonymously by Christopher Marlowe, of course):

“Yo, Shakehead, your plays suck, dude. Get a life!”

Oh, yeah, and you know what? This blog will also give you a behind-the-scenes look at the creative process, what with me being a certified artist and all (hey, listen, if you’ve got it, throw it on the wall in huge blotches of primary colors, yes?)

And now then, I’m going to take my Wile E. Coyote self behind a figurative rock and wait for my new Acme Hit Counter to start spinning around like a doughnut — thanks to this new BLOG of mine!