I'm something of a nature photographer, as you see from this photograph. It looks dangerous to most people for me to be so close to a bear, but you've got to remember I was "whispering" to this animal for hours before I finally dared to approach it. By the time I snapped its photograph, it was completely under my spell. (I even got it to go fetch me a "brew" from a nearby drink cooler!)



That's right: I come from a long line of "bear whisperers." Of course, my father and his father before him never liked to brag about it -- we were content to whisper to the bears for our own edification and amusement (the properly "whispered" bear can be quite funny, and can even be made to perform simple party tricks, such as riding a unicycle in a tutu and juggling a couple plastic balls -- sometimes even three of them, albeit very briefly -- with eyes absurdly crossed as he or she struggles valiantly to bring the full power of their unfortunately very limited brain power to "bear" on the challenging task) -- but ever since Nicholas Evans glorified those so-called "horse whisperers" in his 1995 novel, I've taken off the muzzle of modesty and come clean with respect to my somewhat more manly talent of "bear whispering." (Horse whisperer, indeed! May as well be a SHEEP whisperer! No, if you want to impress me, you've got to whisper to an animal that can really get its teeth into you -- and/or its claws. Then, when you cause it to refrain from doing so, I can truly be impressed!)





Incidentally, I trust that all the breaths out there are appropriately bated, and that you're champing at your respective bits in anticipation of my upcoming live reports from Chincoteague. (Remember, I'll be uploading photo-illustrated reports from that pony-famous island right here on this very page, each weekday, Monday the 28th of July through Friday the 3rd of August 2007. So I'm definitely like stay tuned or whatever. But then I'm ALWAYS like stay tuned or whatever.) Between you and me, I'm a little nervous about this upcoming trip, however, because I haven't been somewhere with the specific goal of "enjoying myself" in a long time. I'm not sure I remember how.



That's why I've decided to join my family down in Wilderness, Virginia, this weekend (one week prior to my Eastern Shore relaxation blow-out) for a sort of test run, so that I can practice relaxing and having fun -- you know, basically just "to remember what it's like": After all, I want to be really good at it before my real week-long vacation begins on the following weekend.



Got to take my camera of course -- although there's no need to whisper to the island ponies to get them to pose for a photograph, since they're notoriously calm (if not precisely tame) as it is. Still, my whispering talents should stand me in good stead with such otherwise flighty local wildlife as the heron, the sea gull, and the flying squirrel. I can see me now: "Hey, uh, Squirrel: Yeah, you: Come 'ere: I gots something I want to tell you, in private like, see?"



And then when he finally cautiously approaches, I'm like "Whisper whisper whisper whisper..." and before he knows what hit him, he's in my power! (If only these creatures' brains weren't so limited, I could tell them to go perform some great train robbery on my behalf and bring me back the booty. But don't worry, I'm a law-abiding webmaster. Besides, there is no longer any train service to speak of (sadly enough) on Virginia's Eastern Shore!)