The surprisingly delightful musings of a humble Virginian whose satiric paeons to a plausible utopia implicitly shame the cynical zeitgeist of our times, causing it to cry, as 'twere, 'Damn, what was I thinking?' or words to that effect.

January 2017
"Shooting Musk Ox: murder, mischief or merriment?" You be the judge!

Good Conscience Hunting

Good afternoon, I'm Babe Wildman Ph.D., America's first philosophically scrupulous hunter, chasing wild game across the American hinterland while inwardly reflecting on my ontological justification for doing so. That's right, this is a new kind of hunting show where, instead of blasting our prey with amoral abandon, a la the gun-toting hayseed, we track down our quarry in a spirit of critical self-reflection, silently catechizing our better natures about the propriety of our acts, even as we sneak silently through the undergrowth, training our red pinpoint laser sights on the cute button nose of yet another hapless Bambi.

We may kill as many defenseless critters as our redneck counterparts, but there are no riotous high-fives after our conquests, no self-congratulatory shoulder clapping, no trips to the local beer hall with a half-dozen bearded cronies riding dangerously in the bed of our gas-guzzling and ridiculously oversized pickup truck, no posing beside our quarry with a shameless grin on our unnecessarily camouflaged faces while making the victory sign over our victim's corporeal husk with our gun-free hand -- and no phony but effusive praising of our local hunting guides, as if we couldn't have done it without them (which, when we stop to think about it, we really could have, of course, while saving money into the bargain!) : instead, our crew of Ivy League-educated game hunters repair to an insect-proof gazebo on my 25-acre estate near Tucson where we philosophically debate the morality of our latest socially sanctioned kills, not simply mouthing off ex cathedra a la the madding crowd, but actually justifying a series of sober but ad hoc insights (whether pro, con or agnostic) with specific verifiable references to the great philosophical authorities our time.

So put your blaze orange thinking caps on because it's time to go... Good conscience hunting!!!

Today's episode: "Shooting Musk Ox: murder, mischief or merriment?" You be the judge!

hunting, morality

Copyright 2017, Brian Quass (follow on Twitter)